the fourth day

It is my fourth day in the classroom. My assertive tone is growing stronger but each moment of each lesson I am learning more. I love being in the classroom but after a week of four hours of sleep a night my brain is like an empty box that shuts down at 5 pm and I am constantly redirecting it towards the task at hand: learning how to be a better teacher. I need every day to be better than the day before because the need is great and time is short. I have three more weeks after tomorrow to teach 22 7th grade standards and I still have many short comings. My biggest priority currently is to learn how to test exactly what I am teaching without teaching to the test. Or should I teach to the test, knowing the reality is that the only way that my students will be able to create better lives for themselves is if they can pass state exams to graduate from high school? Numbers are the reality, so how can authentic teaching and the necessity to pass the New York Regents exam be reconciled? Especially if a student is grade levels behind and there is no time?

And there are still things I have not yet grown accustomed to, realities of the lives of my students. Mr. Hasty and I sent a personal interest survey home with each of our students and some of the answers had me roaring in laughter, though perhaps from delirium, and others were scary. Interests, hobbies, and activities were typical of a 6th grader, including, "texting a lot," and "rasing people when I no I can win," and it was incredibly fun to remember what my priorities consisted of when I was at that age. In response to the question, "What are three things you are considering doing after you graduate from high school?" the smallest boy in the classroom wrote simply, "Go to college, party, get a girl." Those certainly are three of the most important things in life. But some of the favorite activities still seemed unexpected, even after all I have learned over the past three weeks. My brightest math student, a student who responded enthusiastically today when I quietly asked her after class if she would like me to start assigning her more difficult homework, answered the prompt of 'What are your interests?' with "I like to kick my stepfather." How often will I hear statements like this? When will it become the norm? What is outside of my locus of control? Will I feel pity for this student and hold her to lower standards? I hope that when I learn this type of information, which I know that I often will, that it will lead me to hold even higher standards so that this student and many others are able to build better lives for themselves someday.

Here is another peek into the classroom of Mr. Hasty and Ms. Hahn:

My love of being in the classroom said, I am counting the hours until tomorrow evening, when I am allowed to sleep and breathe and wear jeans. But now I must work, tomorrow we continue our festival of scientific notation.