A goal is a goal is a goal

At least in New York City it is light out at 5:30 am. There was the sun, hanging in the sky, ready to mock me. My days for the next five weeks are long but hard for certain. We arise at dawn, depart for our school sites at 6:30 am, and spend from 7 am to 4:15 pm in an air-condition-less classroom, battling the heat and humidity, and trying to stay awake so as not to miss one important fact that may shape our strengths as a teacher. I did sweat, but also I did learn. I learned that the Achievement Gap is real. I learned that "the need is great and time is short." But not only did I hear it, I felt it. Today, I lived it. I sat in a classroom in a tired school building in the middle of a low-income urban community and tried to focus on my task despite the overwhelming heat with no solution. Because of the absence of air-conditioning, we left all windows wide open, inviting the sounds of the city to pour into our classroom. In addition to the blaring sounds of sirens and honking and yelling, the constant slamming, groaning, cracking, and noises of a bulldozer tearing up the abandoned building across the street persisted throughout the day. At times it was so loud that our instructor would stop speaking and wait till the bulldozer took leave. Would I have learned as I did if I had faced these challenges and these distractions every single day as an eight year old? I highly doubt it. It was hot, it was loud, it was disrupting, and those unique urban challenges are merely the tip of the iceberg in regards to the numerous struggles that my students will face every single day.

I spent the majority of my schooling days in a peacefully cool classroom. It was quiet and it was clean.

I find myself at times becoming more competitive than I have felt in the past. My fellow corps members are intimidating, some having already received graduate degrees, completed their undergraduate degree at Harvard or Yale, worked in the House of Representatives, or built a bridge in Costa Rica. When I hear these impressive resume statistics, I immediately feel myself wanting to show them that I, too, can be great in the classroom. Perhaps even better than them! Harvard or not! But I realized today that the fact that they may be great does not mean that I will be inherently be less great, as our mindset must entirely be focused on student achievement. Thus, in order to have the greatest positive impact on students across the city, we all must be great and continually challenge each other to improve our effectiveness. We must work as a city-wide team, and in the lovely words of Teach for America, "redefine was is possible" for our students and their future. I do not want to be better than any other corps member because I want us all to be the best teachers possible for the sake of our students. Our teaching performance is not graded on a bell curve.

Before you leave me tonight, make time for a little inspiration. Whenever I question my purpose here, Dalton Sherman is here to bring me back:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAMLOnSNwzA

And now, I must plan. The last lesson I took home with me today was that in teaching, though perhaps not always in life, you can never plan too much. A fail to plan is undoubtedly a plan to fail. Though I hope to live my life a little bit more malleably.